Mop Head

Archive: March 1, 2008


Pretty self explanatory.

Hypodermic Needle

Archive: March 31, 2007

So far probably the least desirable of all of the Things I've Found On My Patio is this hypodermic needle. I suspect it was thrown up from the street, since it landed flush against the building it would have been almost impossible to drop there from above.

My neighborhood isn't a ghetto but it's also a few blocks from places you don't really want to be at night, so I guess the odd needle here and there isn't entirely surprising, although the location of this one was. I'm just glad it didn't arrive while I was on my patio reading, taking in the view, or documenting other Things I Find On My Patio.

As with anything thrown onto my patio, you would need to be standing in front of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police office in order to reach my patio which is essentially the police office roof. Why somebody chose this particular location to dispose of their drug parephenalia I couldn't say.

Baker's Dozen

Archive: March 12, 2007

There aren't really a dozen sourdough buns in that bag, maybe only 5 or 6. But still, Free Buns! Who's going to argue with that? Sure beats Poop on a Sheet.

My Fence

Archive: January 10, 2007

You might expect that I would find my patio fence on my patio, and you'd be right. But typically in a more vertical arrangement, serving the purpose of dividing my patio from the next.

As I've mentioned before, the particular arrangement of the building and patio wall serve to create a wind tunnel which, particularly in the winter, generate incredibly strong gusts across the front of my apartment. That coupled with the damp wood-rotting coastal environment was sufficient to strike a serious blow to the integrity of my fence.

You can see here the first hit as I discovered it the next morning. Fortunately it collapsed away from my window, and I didn't have to deal with rain and debris blown into my livingroom.
My noisy pot-head neighbor at the time (who has since moved out) took it upon himself to stand the fence upright again. Of course a few days later it was windy and snowy and this was the result, collapsing completely.
Once the weather cleared up a bit, my noisy pot-head neighbor decided to stand it up again, its structural integrity marginally exceeding that of a house of cards, but perhaps not quite reaching the level of a house of soup cans. The latticework part which got completely separated was tidied up and conveniently deposited...
...in the corner of my patio farthest from his. The only thing that really bothers me about this is that in order to stack up the fence parts in this corner of my patio, he would be standing directly outside my bedroom window.

By this point I had long since reported the broken fence to the resident manager of the building, and he assured me that he would take it up with the building council and once the weather had cleared up, it would be repaired. After a few months passed he quit, and we got a new building manager, who I again reported the broken fence to, and he assured me that he would take it up with the building council and once the weather had cleared up, it would be repaired. A contractor was brought in to make an estimate which was provided to the council, and rejected. Later on, another contractor was brought in to make and estimate which was provided to the council, and rejected. The contractor subsequently provided a revised estimate which was approved.

Recently the fence did get fixed, a year and a half later, in June of 2008.

Poop Sheet

Archive: January 6, 2007

Probably the most disgusting Thing I've Found On My Patio so far, in quality if not quantity. This little gem followed on the heels of the much more practical Free Brush.

What precisely is it you might ask? It's exactly what it looks like, toilet paper... used. What the thought process was that led to its deposit on my patio I can't imagine. It's likely it came from a unit above me, as I suspect it would be pretty hard to toss this up from the street.

Free Brush

Archive: January 5, 2007

One of the first Things I Found On My Patio, a brush of some kind, sort of the kind you get with a plastic dustpan, or for brushing snow off your car windshield. I have no idea where it came from, but it's possible it was blown over onto my area of the patio from my neighbor's. The shape of my building and the patio wall create hurricane force winds across the front of my apartment.

It is covered in sloppy BC coastal snow/rain.

The Arrival of Poocat

Archive - June 20, 2008

This is the first encounter I had with Poocat, although I did not know it at the time. Blissfully unaware of the future horrors that awaited me, I thought to myself how charming it was to have a fuzzy neighbor that I might become aquinted with and won't it be nice to share together our stories, in the cool of the evening, of other things I find on my patio.